Help! My Spouse is moving in opposite direction….

  ‘Can two Individuals walk in same direction without first agreeing to do so? ‘- Prophet Amos

It is so frustrating to be married to someone who doesn’t believe in your vision or dream. It is energy draining to be soul knitted to someone who doesn’t see the future you paint and anticipate. Nothing is as beautiful as having a partner/spouse who is your number one cheerleader. It is great synergy to have a lover who watches your back as you go to the field to do what you are called to do; what you are specifically configured for.

I put it to you that it is pertinent to have purpose before partner. It is better to know the future you anticipate before you ‘drag’ in your future partner into the picture. You may need to ask Mary who ‘wombed’ the Messiah how frustrating it was initially when her spouse Joseph didn’t initially believe her purpose of birthing the Messiah. God your creator knows you need a supporting spouse to function well and finish strong. This He proved when He threw all His weight behind Moses’ wife Zipporoah when she was criticized and victimized by her in-laws for belonging to a tribe God instructed them not to marry from. Now wait, it was this same God that instructed Moses’ tribe not to marry from Midian where Zipporoah emanated from. It was Zipporoah’s father that housed and catered from Moses when he fled from Egypt because the enthroned Pharaoh was after his life for defending the people of Israel. Moses needed to stay away from the public for a while to prepare him for the great task ahead of delivering the children of Israel from captive. Zipporoah’s father, Jethro not only provided the place of abode for Moses but also gave him his blessings for him to marry his daughter.

While courting, Moses took time out to explain his vision to Zipporoah, he told her how he awaits a time when his people would be delivered from the captive; how it would happen however remain clueless to him. Zipporoah believed his vision despite having a ‘foreign’ origin.

Fast forward to the burning bush experience; it was time for Moses to go deliver his people from the slave master and guess what he got his wife’s support and blessings and I am sure she kept praying while Moses went ahead to challenge Pharaoh (phew!)

Fast forward to when the nation of Israel got their freedom and was on their way to their promise land, Moses’ siblings scorned and despised Moses for marrying from a forbidden tribe. It was a slap on Moses’ face and that of his spouse; but guess what? God was so proud of all the support that Zipporoah gave her husband all through and He had no choice than to punish Moses’ siblings for their insolence. God knows it is suicidal to go on a mission or embark on a vision whose success has many lives attached to it without YOU having the full support of your soul mate; this is critical. There is so much to share on this topic …

To this effect, my faculty and I will be teaching singles in MENTORING SINGLES master class on 4th, 5th & 6th September and we have decided to include this topic SELF DISCOVERY: Finding Purpose before Partner in our course outline. It is a course that is deep and compulsory for everyone that desires fulfillment in life and marriage. Take advantage of this awesome experience; Send ‘ September masterclass as subject of the mail; your full names and whatsapp number to whensinglesgather@gmail.com and we will get back to you as soon as possible. Your beautiful future has begun already. I believe, do you?help edited

How to remain your wife’s best friend for life

It is so great to know that you got married to your best friend because most people do. However, it is not good at all if after few years both of you can’t connect so well or be so much in love like it used to be when you first got married. Lot of responsibilities and commitments may get you so busy that if care is not taken you’ll hardly create enough time for your spouse…this is detrimental to your love life and marriage. Here are a few tips to keep the flame of your love burning and rekindled always with your spouse.

Share her ideas

You need to understand that your wife is a wonderful creature and in the womb of her mind lies wonderful ideas that can help every bit of your life become better. Let her share her ideas with you about your business, ministry or projects. She may really want to start up something of her own like daycare, school, help ministry….encourage her great dreams…motivate her. Listen to her views and opinions of your plans…you may not necessarily agree with her but respect her points…make her feel as the most important person in your life after God…because that is how it’s supposed to be. Don’t discourage her great ideas only for someone outside to appreciate it.


Share her Vision

Your wife was created not only to womb babies but to also carry great visions. She is a vision carrier just like Mary who ‘wombed’ the Savior. Imagine how the testimony of salvation would have been if Joseph vehemently refused to accept the vision of Mary being the mother of Jesus. Your woman has been created to meet an economic need, to solve a community problem and to affect her environment and nation like Dorcas, Esther and Deborah. You have to be beside her to mentor her and lead her right. Give her the motivation she needs to push her out of her comfort zone.

Share her Interests

It is so obvious that many men love to watch sports or read the newspapers or rather listen to news on the TV; but as a man, have you ever taken time to know your wife’s interests? Do you at all know what she enjoys doing? Find out what she loves doing and do it with her even if for the fun of it; this will help the bond between you to be stronger. Sing with her, dance with her, go places with her…it may just be to stroll together. Two cannot walk together except they agree (Amos 3:3). Both of you can find a common interest and enjoy it together. Two people cannot go on a journey together if one is heading towards South while the other wish to travel to the North. Win your babe’s heart over and over again by showing interest in her interests.

Share her Chores

If your wife’s love language is acts of service, you will have to do your marriage a great favor by finding time to assist her at home even if it is the little things like helping her to lift something from one place to the other. No work should be too big for you to do for your spouse. Culture should not dictate to you what you should and shouldn’t do for your spouse. You only have to find out what makes her happy and you do it for her. One of the daughters’ of the Priest of Midian eventually became Moses’ wife and this not just happened; prior to that Moses helped his wife-to-be and her sisters when they came to draw water from the well. He even helped them to water their father’s flock. (Exodus 2:16-17)
How often do you assist your wife? There are some things that you could easily do while she handles some other things. Remain her best friend for life…don’t distant yourself from her to the extent that she starts feeling your absence and start confiding in a third party. Stay by her, value her, cherish her, support her and maintain her beauty…don’t overload her with home chores to the extent that she gets worn-out. Make her be the model you want…the way you ‘use’ her will determine the way she appears in public…if she is no longer attractive like she used to when you first got married….it’s your fault. Let her take time-out sometimes from the house chores…take her out…celebrate her….she is the mother of your kids….your better half.

Share her Challenges

Your wife go through lot of challenges…she goes through a cycle every month and this may cause mood swings. So sometimes she may be in her low points, such times she may not be too friendly. Do not shout on her during these periods…you need to read her like a book to know when she needs you to understand her moods. She is a ‘multi-stage’ personality. Share her joy, pain, tears and laughter, through her waiting period to her conception season, the childbirth time, the weaning of the babies and when the menopause period comes. Her cycle has been built that way and she needs your full support to grow old together with you gracefully. She wants to remain your best friend for life and you need to be a part of her life in whatever she does for this to happen. Don’t be left behind, be carried along, don’t wait till you hear of her exploits from a third-party or from the media before you know that your wife is a celebrity. See the future in her now. Wake up the sleeping giant in her…remain her best friend for life!