King, it is almost unbelievable that we are five years in marriage and still running. It has been thirteen years of knowing you; four years of friendship with you, four years of dating you and five years of being your wife and lover.
I still remember 23rd October, 2004 when you proposed to me in my father’s house (smiles). I cannot actually remember giving a yes to your proposal, all I just knew was that we started our courtship a few days later and courted for four good years. I actually did not know you came to propose on that day. Our parents have been best of friends, so you naturally became a family friend but I never imagined myself becoming your wife.
You had come over that beautiful day to check on my dad who was ‘strong’, having learnt of the state of his health from your dad. We got talking about each other’s successes. You asked how I had been coping after the ‘broken courtship’ I had; you knew about it because our parents had a way of sharing information about us with one another. Then you asked a very important question, “What qualities do you look out for in the man you want to marry”. In the spirit of ‘gist’ with a close family friend and brother I ‘ranted’ three qualities I hold dear in my heart. So I said: First, I desire a man who has vision. I knew I had a call on my life and I couldn’t be happy living with a man who has no idea why he was created. Secondly, I desire a man who yearns deeply for God. I know a God-fearing man will obey God’s word to the letter and would do me no evil but good all his days and thirdly, my desire is to marry a handsome man (all smiles). Above all, I had made up my mind that no matter how deep I feel for a man, I will never say yes to him unless I receive God’s consent to go ahead.
I remember you asked me immediately if you have all those qualities I stated; it was then I realised you had come all the way to ask me out and I had said so much already in words to a prospective suitor. I told you to give me time to sort it out with my God because despite the beautiful feelings I have for you, I cannot give a yes if God says no. I had a bad experience in my previous relationship and I had determined that in future, I would wait for God’s approval before saying yes to any man.
I remember the first love poem I wrote to you, a few days into our courtship, titled “you’re my dream come true”. I recall you had it typed and laminated, you also had it in your briefcase for months. I may not have been presented with expensive gifts during our courtship days but I cherish your love, respect and attention. Thanks for treating me like royalty.
The respect you show me is reflected in the way I am treated where people hold you in high esteem. Thank you for waking up the sleeping giant in me. You challenged me to become a professional. I became a Chartered Accountant after getting married to you. Thanks for introducing me back to the pulpit; I was so passionate about becoming the best wife and mother that I hardly found time to teach God’s word in church. Exactly three years after our wedding, you gave me the privilege to preach in our church during bible study and that was the beginning of my great moments. You marveled at the depth of God’s words in me and you never stopped giving me more opportunities to speak God’s word.
I am always humbled when I hear your male protégés say they pray they marry a wife like me. Your female siblings and teenage sisters in the church are always so proud to call me their mentor, I am so grateful. I am not a perfect bride; just the same way I have some things I would love you to improve on, I seek daily to become a better wife for you. We both are imperfect and we are honest to admit this to each other. We are however so proud to have a perfect God who is committed to helping us become better day after day. Thank you for encouraging me not to give up on us even when challenges push us so hard. You do not know how fulfilled I feel anytime you call me “My Coach”, especially after our regular relationship talks and assessment of how healthy our union is. Your humility and simplicity motivates me. Thank you for being so excited about the super woman I am evolving into daily. You are my hero!
Permit me to renew my vow to you in Ruth’s voice to Naomi with these words, “…don’t ask me to go away from you, or to go back without you: for where you go I will go; and where you take your rest I will take my rest; your people will be my people and your God my God.”