Let’s go back to Eden

Many times we wonder where God is when we pass through great challenges in our relationship. The fact remains that God has always been around but more often than not, we refuse Him full access as regards our love lives. Most times we involve God when we need success in our career, business and contracts but when it comes to relationship, we feel we don’t need Him or we forget to carry Him along. Let me quickly remind you that relationship is originally God’s idea brought to limelight in the Garden of Eden…youImage remember Adam and Eve …right? You can’t know how best to utilize an idea that was not originally yours…the same way we need God’s help and intervention to make our relationship/marriage work. It is His idea that we get married…you can’t steal that idea from Him, and since it is His idea, He alone knows how best to make it work.

Marriage as intended by God is a threefold cord between God, Man and his wife that cannot be easily broken. Each of them is a team mate in the field of marriage and each one has a very important role to play. Undermining God’s role in our relationship/marriage is usually where our problem starts. There is the theory of the missing rib and it was formulated by God, so there are some things we can’t handle on our own in relationship that only God can fix. A quick glance at Genesis 2 and 3 shows Adam had no problem in his relationship when his communication was intact with God. Problem only arose when his wife decided to disobey God’s ordinances and they both paid dearly for it. We struggle on our way without God’s aid.

God sees and knows what we pass through. In fact, He has emotions because He sometimes gets angry and at a time, He even regretted creating man because of man’s atrocities. We have a God who is not insensitive to our struggles, our pains and the temptations we face every day. He knows and feels what we feel when we go through all of these emotions, He sees how we struggle with pornography, masturbation, fornication and adultery. It hurts Him to see us wallow in what He dislikes but at the same time He is standing by waiting for us to call for His help against every sexual perversion we find ourselves addicted to.

God sees our weaknesses and He is not giving up on us and all we need to do is stop putting Him in a box. Let’s stop restricting Him and start including Him 24/7 in our love affairs. Have you forgotten that He is LOVE? He alone can help us love. He is the lover of our soul.

God is concerned when you struggle with sex with your spouse; He sees the tears on your pillow when you even try hiding it from your better half. He reads your heartbeats because your existence is sustained by His breathe; He alone can turn everything that looks so difficult around. Do me a favour, let’s go back to Eden; let’s get back to the feet of the originator of marriage. Let’s seek the audience of Him who is called LOVE. Admit that you have struggled enough on your own and you need His help and His ‘manual’ to fix your marriage/relationship. Don’t be scared to go naked before God who made you and gave you the heart to love. Come on now buddy, let’s go back to Eden.

 (Special thanks to WINNIE MULTIMEDIA BB PIN: 22A92266 for the photograph and @iamDayoSamuel for the graphics)

 

Divorce?…Not Me!

ImageIt is so disheartening to see how great marriages we envy crash these days like a house of cards. Divorce has now become a cancer eating deep into the fabrics of beautiful homes and one begins to wonder if there is hope for the institution of marriage. Without any doubt there is still hope for the great institution of marriage but one of the ways to tackle the divorce issue is to identify some of the causes of seemingly irreparable damage in marriages which leads to divorces a lot of times.

 

  Now let me share with you a few reasons why marriages fail… 

INFIDELITY: – It is not easy to bear the betrayal and hurt of a cheating spouse. It takes a broken and healed soul to forgive a spouse who indulges in extra marital affairs. The union may not last if one of the spouses is an unrepentant cheat who cannot stop having illicit affairs, though he/she may beg for forgiveness each time he/she is caught with someone else. It is even more heartbreaking if the cheat is indulging in a same sex (gay) relationship. The betrayed partner in most cases may never recover from the shock and thus the relationship may collapse like a house of cards. 

A marriage may come to an end if there is a NO SEX situation. This could be as a result of a spouse being obsessed with pornography and masturbation so he/she no longer derives pleasure in real sex, thus he/she commits EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY because all the emotions that such a person is supposed to bestow on his/her spouse is being invested on addictive behaviors like pornography, drinking, womanizing, gambling, masturbation and more. In this kind of situation, the betrayed spouse may go through EMOTIONAL NEGLECT which will cause the couple to drift apart emotionally, though they may still share the same bed. At this point, they are no longer soul mates but mere bed mates.

POOR COMMUNICATION make couples disconnect with time and this may sometimes be because of LONG SEPARATION. Some great couples have lost their homes as a result of distance created in pursuit of jobs/career/contracts that keep them away from each other for too long. In some cases communication breakdown is a result of misunderstanding, immaturity, different backgrounds (upbringing and culture), irreconcilable differences, refusing to offer forgiveness for a wrong committed or choosing not to overlook a character flaw.

FINANCIAL CONFLICT can end a relationship easily. In the economy we are in today, it is not even enough for the man only to be gainfully employed, his wife must have what she is bringing to the table no matter how little, that is when she is a good helpmeet. If a woman’s financial needs cannot be met by her husband for a long time without a ray of hope of when things will change for better, she may leave the man without a blink of an eye. 

A relationship that is devoid of AFFECTION and APPRECIATION will end up in frustration. Human beings are created to stay around those who appreciate and celebrate them even for the little things they do. When this is lacking at home, they tend to seek it somewhere else and hover over anyone that cares to feed them with it.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/ABUSE ends a marriage quickly. It is even advisable that the abused partner seek urgent help lest the marriage ends his/her life. Abuse is a terrible thing to experience because it deprives the victim of joy, comfort and happiness and in return inflicts untold pain (emotional and physical) on him/her. 

When people with low self-esteem or unhealthy values get married to each other, there is a temptation for them to want to compete with one another instead of complete each other, so untamed EGO, PRIDE, AND INSUBORDINATION towards one another will erode the beauty of companionship and partnership in marriage. The competition between them becomes unhealthy and could cause divorce if not checked on time.

 

Divorce can be a thing of the past in our society if we CHANGE OUR VIEW ABOUT MARRIAGE: Couples need to learn to view themselves as imperfect souls coming from different cultural backgrounds with different upbringing, so they must learn to exercise patience, perseverance and tolerance by accommodating and managing each other’s uniqueness and peculiarities. Forgiveness is golden and must be imbibed by couples who wish to stay together forever. 

We also need to imbibe MORALS, VALUES AND VIRTUES: Each home must have these and must stay true to them. They guide one’s steps even when faced with sexual temptations.

Sometimes what we need is PROFESSIONAL HELP: Couples need to know that the same way they tell a medical doctor about their ailments is the same way they need to talk to a marriage counselor about their marital issues, especially when things seem to be going out of hand.

Don’t joke with TIME OUT WITH ONE ANOTHER: Marital vows are strong and binding. We should not just say our marital vows with our lips alone, we should recite them with our heart and re-visit them regularly to check whether we are still standing by them. Couples should always take time out despite their busy schedules to get away and spend time together without the kids. They should assess each other to know whether they are better lovers or whether they have drifted apart to become just friends.

Above all, we must NEVER LEAVE GOD OUT OF THE EQUATION: Marriage is a three cord between God, man and his wife. Just the same way you cannot operate a device well without consulting the manufacturer’s manual, we need God’s manual on marriage to make our marriage work. We must be ready to obey His precepts concerning marriage since marriage is His divine idea.

Do you need a listening ear? Reach out to me on BBM: 29E55A9A

Who stole my Virginity?

It was just a kiss, I swear and I never meant to give away my most treasured virtue…my emotions got the better of me, I responded to every touch and advance he showed me and before I knew it….I had passed the stage of no return. I gave myself to him, and in just few minutes I lost my innocence…Ruby sobs as she took the inventory of her affair with Rolex.

A lot of young girls have lost their innocence on the platform of deceit, rape, abuse and inordinate affections. Our young ones have lost their innocence to pornography, masturbation, lesbianism and all sorts of sexual atrocities. Most parents have in the name of making extra income for the family left their first duty to their kids, moral training. Kids now have to learn about almost everything from films, peers and internet. Guardians, uncles and aunts have made preys out of their nieces and nephews, polluting their minds and bodies with sexual thoughts, materials and acts.

My dear damsel, do not raise alarm that you are raped if you decide to dress half-naked on the streets. Do not lodge a complaint of sexual assault if all you do is wear very tight attires that exposes all your “natural endowments”. Before we crucify that guy for abusing you sexually, we have to first find out what you wore that aroused him.

And to you, dear Youngman, I understand the fact that you masturbate to express your feelings or the emotions going on in your body …and did it really make you feel better or it has now become an addiction? Pornography has become your hobby…oh; it’s a secret hobby that you hide from everyone. You were actually not like this some time ago, you were a gentleman that every parents would be proud of and would want their kids to emulate, so the question is, who took your innocence away? What made you go wild? When did you disconnect from God?

You have actually planned to wait till you find the right mate and never to mess up with any girl…but looking at your scorecard now…you really have messed up big time with lot of girls…jilting and abusing most of them….hmmmm…God is watching you. Have you ever heard the phrase…”flee fornication”? Your maker, God, actually commanded you to run away from anything that will pollute and abuse your body. You simply can’t withstand anything in skirts….you have really gone wild and lost control. Why have you allowed yourself to be so influenced by what you know only leads to destruction?
Dear beloved husband, you were not like this when you first got married. In fact, you were the dream of every young bride then, caring, loving and God-fearing; but now, you have become the lion of the tribe of your house. You now live as the dictator at home, we know you are the head of the house but a great leader influences with love by laying good example. You should have known that something has gone wrong when you had to start forcing your wife to obey you. Where have you missed it? What kind of men are your friends; the ones that beat their wives? Oh come off it, the company you keep have a long way in affecting your behavior and belief. I also heard you now have a mistress who explores with you. So you have forgotten the wife of your youth? Strange women only help men to dig early graves, they make demands that your own wife dare not ask you. Why did you decide to go astray? Why did you decide to break God’s heart? You have lost your innocence and hardened your heart; re-trace your steps back home as God is waiting for you just as He did for the prodigal son.

Dear precious wife, it is good to hear that you now earn a fat salary, at least you can help your spouse out with the family finance; but wait, is it true that you have allowed pride to set in. I find it hard to believe that you no longer respect your husband because you feel you too have arrived. Do not pay evil with evil, even if he has once offended you, you do not have to take back your own pound of flesh. Love does not do that, and you can’t make him feel sorry for the wrong he has done to you by paying him back with wrong. You used to be the sweet, gentle, loving and respectful wife….where has your innocence gone? Why did you allow your friends or films influence you negatively? Who stole your innocence? Do an inventory of your life, re-trace your steps and go back to God…