Leaders and Lovers

Your primary assignment as a leader is your home unless you don’t have any. Let me be frank with you, if you’re a celebrity that commands so much respect outside your home but your presence at home does not ignite an atmosphere of love, ‘mehn…,’ you have not done well enough. Let me ask you, if your wife and kids are asked the kind of person you are at home, what would they say? Will they paint you as beautifully well as your proteges and fans do?

Great leaders are not only leaders on the social media or in the public or office; they are super dads to their kids and great lovers to their wives. If you succeed well in your business, ministry and career but fail in your responsibility at home, you have failed your Maker. The only set of people who would not reject you no matter how life turns out for you is your family, so why not love them the way they deserve to be loved. Your family was there when you were a nobody, so they should be your priority when you’ve now become ‘somebody’.

Dear Sir, if you love your PA more than you love your wife, you’re not a good role model. In the words of Praise Fowowe (twitter handle: @PraiseFowowe),“How sane are you as a business executive when you abandon a family that is working for an untested girl out of pleasure”. Your wife and kids should not struggle to get your attention. Don’t be all over as an Ambassador for your country or representative for your international company while your family hurts in your absence. Show me a leader, who loves, cherishes and respects his wife and I’ll tell you he is a leader who will win all battles of life.

Don’t underestimate the power of a praying wife. Men who make their wives sad struggle in some areas of life and wonder why that should be. A happy wife will dare to sacrifice anything to make sure her husband succeeds in life. It also means a sad wife can stop at nothing in bringing her husband down. God through Apostle Paul of Tarsus gave specific instruction to every married man on how he should treat his wife. He said, “Husband, love your wife…”

A wife you love is a wife you will adore; create time for in spite of your busy schedule, you will call her often to know how she is faring. Let me ask you, when last did you take her for a vacation? Or when last did the two of you take a break together and escape to find solace in each other’s arms alone. Yes, we know you as a leader but are you a lover to your wife. Does your wife have to cry to get your attention? Does she receive timely advice from you the same way you give your all to your clients? Remember she was there when no one believed in your dreams, now that your dream has become a global phenomenon, does she look too ‘outdated’ to be identified with you in public?

Did I hear you say yes to that last question? Re-package your wife if you don’t like how she looks, spend all you can to make her be the woman you will be ‘crazy’ about 24/7. We know you are becoming a global leader but don’t do that at the expense of your wife’s heart and your kids’ love. You can be a great leader and a superb lover at the same time. The world is watching you!

(In the display picture is a mix of great leaders I admire who love and treat their wives with so much respect. You guys are great role models)Image

A CALL FROM MY Ex

ImageJude is a promising young guy; he is a first class graduate of Mass communications and he has lot of dreams for the future. One of his goals is to be a successful on air personality (OAP). Getting the right job however seems difficult as he has to be joggling between one to the other. One of the bright sides of his life is his fiancée, Judith. Her daily phone calls always make his day colorful and he always look forward to it. Judith has however changed a bit since some days back, she rarely pick when he calls and she always sound not too excited at the sound of Jude’s voice. He would have paid her a visit to know the reason for the sudden change in her attitude but she is miles away observing her National Youth service Corps (NYSC).

Jude got a call from one of the best radio station in town to come for an interview for the post of on air personality (OAP) and as he puts everything in place on the morning of the interview, he got a call from his beloved Judith. This must be a great luck for his interview, hearing from his wife-to-be. Judith announced to him right there on the phone that she’s no longer in love with him and that they should give their relationship a permanent break because she has moved on.

It was a rude shock for Jude but he has to put himself together for his interview. He will deal with the issue later. It wasn’t easy for him to get composed. His heart was divided, interview on his mind, heartbreak ripping him apart on the other hand. It was his turn to be interviewed, he sat in front of the panelists and was asked to do one thing…..”You are the radio host for a popular relationship program on air, can you please give a brief introduction to today’s episode of the program”…..that was the task.

And here’s Jude response to his test, “Earlier this morning, my girlfriend, best friend and lover broke our relationship of two beautiful years at a time I need her most in my life; I am here with a heavy heart yet I have you my audience waiting for me so I have brace up because life continues. Now I wonder how I can balance life with this heartbreak and other goals I need to accomplish. Today I want to hear your views about how you handled previous heartbreaks in your relationship, let’s learn from you. We also have a Relationship Coach in the house….I, your host Judah Best will be right back after the commercials…”

The panelists were ‘wowed’….he got the job on the spot with lot of mouth watering benefits. His life changed on the day he was jilted. Within six months, he was in high demand as MC and live show host even in higher institutions. It was one of these days that he received a call from Judith, she wants to come back into his life….. 

Jude really loved Judith and he still has feelings for her but she actually left him for someone else once…she left when he needed her most and now she wants to come back…. She is probably making a comeback because of his current status….

Our Ex is our past. It could also be a dirty habit we left, a pitfall we survived from or weakness we had overcome. Seriously, you are married but there is this old flame that used to know the password to set your body on fire…. Just a call from her and you are already undressing her in your mind…To make the matter worse, she is ready to go on a date with you. You’ve got to take control of the ‘lust’ least it lead you to an early grave. Lot of married people made a total mess of their beautiful future because they gave entrance to an Ex into their lives. Some attractions are for your destruction; so beware!

 

Stop having a hangover over an Ex who has nothing to offer than heartaches. He/she walked out because he/she believes you are not good enough. Don’t stay around someone who only tolerate you but never celebrates you. Jonah (in the bible) had to do away with his ‘over-sleeping’ habit before he could fulfill God’s purpose for his life. Dis-engage from anything that will weigh you down from advancing into the future. You may need to stop picking that call or probably delete that contact from your phonebook or blackberry. You may have to block that follower on twitter that keeps sending you nude pictures. You have the power to prevent yourself from sleeping on the laps of Delilah least you end up like Samson.

 I once dated a guy who could walk in any time of the day to declare that our relationship was over. Each time this happened, I would cry and become very devastated only for him to come back few weeks or days later begging on his knees that his life would be meaningless without me. Going by my love for him, I accept him back easily only for him to repeat his folly few weeks later. This went on and on, the more it repeats itself, the more I became an emotional wreck. In about our one year courtship,the relationship got ‘broken’ and ‘repaired’ like seven times until I said it was enough. I told him that although I have forgiven him but I have discovered that he is not emotionally matured to handle relationships for now least he makes a mess of my life. I told him I can no longer trust him with my heart because he has no good track records.

 Any man/woman that takes pleasure in making you cry is not worthy to have you. Let me put it this way, if your partner toys with your emotions, then s/he cannot be your spouse.

Seriously, if the ‘bad’ that you Ex has to offer outweighs the ‘good’….don’t open the door of your heart to him or her again. Add me on this BB PIN: 29E55A9A if you need someone to talk to. I value you!

 

Before you break her heart…

Greg had made his mind, there’s certainly no going back. He definitely does not feel anything for Lauren again. The flame of their love has been blown away by the whirl wind. The more he tried to rekindle their love, the more he seems to be attracted to a new woman, Lucy.

Greg and Lauren have been living together for five years, they have an adorable baby girl they both named Angel. They were lovebirds at first sight and never for once tried hiding their feelings for each other for whoever cares to see. However, Lauren’s parents never supported the relationship from on set and this created a lot of troubles for them when they were ready to settle down. Both of them however feel life isn’t complete until they are in each other’s company, so Lauren moved into Greg’s house against her parents’ wish and blessings. They both concluded that the wedding could be on hold till her parents give their consents. Few months after they started co-habiting, Lauren got pregnant and Greg spoilt her silly. They are both graduates, Lauren works with a telecommunications company while her beau runs his own oil business. They were ‘in money’ and so since they were both independent they decided they cannot be held bound by any parent. In the trimester stage of her pregnancy she lost it due to stress at work. Greg thus asked her to stop work at this time so as to have enough rest. She later conceived again and gave birth to their only child. During childbirth, she had complications but she was lucky enough to be alive with her adorable baby girl. The doctor thus advised that she must avoid being pregnant again if she wants to still stay alive. The joy of childbirth was so much at that time that the couple did not give weight to the doctor’s advice until when Angel was two years and Greg wants a baby boy.

Of what value is the wealth he is accumulating if there is no male heir who will continue his name, he asked himself. He discussed the issue with Lauren and this did not go down well with her as it seems to her that her spouse is so obsessed with having a male child than having her alive. They argued and disagreed on the issue and it tore their hearts apart. Lauren, as at that time has not reconciled with her parents who have vowed to have nothing to do with their supposed son-in-law.
Greg changed his attitudes towards Lauren hoping that will make her change her mind by ‘giving him a male child’, oh don’t get it twisted, he loves his daughter, Angel so much but he is in dire need of a male child.

It was during this period that Greg met Lucy, a business tycoon. He wasn’t so much attracted to her at first because he still has Lauren so much in his heart, but the more Lauren drift away from him because of his male child obsession, the more he falls into Lucy’s hands who never seems to deny him anything, even her body. If he continues like this with Lucy, she may probably get pregnant for him and maybe give him a male child.

The news of Greg in love with another woman did not go down well with Lauren. All odds seem to be working against her. First of all, she invested a lot in the start up of his oil business. Secondly, their relationship is not legally or religiously binding since there was no marriage whatsoever between them. The third is that her parents are in discord with her for going against their wish in her marital choice. Fourthly, she is currently jobless; this is because she had to leave her career to enable her reduce stress so as not to experience another miscarriage. She and Greg however agreed that she should still stay at home after childbirth to properly look after their baby girl. She has therefore stayed at home till when Greg decided their relationship has come to an end.

Lauren knew she could not afford to be a single parent, she could not afford to be alone, she really has to talk it out with her man. She had a great talk with him and discovered that he is no more interested in their relationship. He however told her that she could still be living in same house with him provided she won’t have issue with his new woman, Lucy living with them because that is whom his heart now belongs to. Lauren is heartbroken and needs advice on what to do:

Co-habitation is what Greg and Lauren practiced, that is, they both lived together as if married without any legal or religious sanctions. Too bad, there is no even option of divorce for Lauren as there was no marriage in the first place. The significance of Parental blessings in a marital relationship cannot be over-emphasized. Even if your parents are of different belief, you need their consents and blessings for your marriage. They may disagree with your opinion on the onset but if you have made the right choice, give them some time, many waters cannot quench love. The heart of the king is in the hands of the Lord (Holy Scriptures). Rushing into marriage without your parental blessings and approval is ungodly and morally wrong.

It is cowardice for a man to harbor a woman in his house like a wife without performing any marital rite on her. It is foolishness on the side of a lady to start living in a man’s house as his wife without walking down the aisle with him. You are just room-mates and he can walk you out of his life when he is fed up with you without any legal consequence.

To every ‘Lucy’ out there, if a man leaves his woman/mother of his kid(s) at home saying he is no more in love with her but with you, watch it. He will do same to you and go after another woman when he gets tired of you.

A word to Greg: before you break Lauren’s heart, put yourself in her shoes and ponder on this question: Would you be happy if same was done to you or your beloved sister?

Greg would be practicing polygamy if Lauren decides to stay in the relationship when Lucy comes to live in with them .No real man can boastfully say he is having a great time in a polygamous union. Polygamy shatter hearts; it hurts kids and destroys homes.

To you dear single man that have aborted for several ladies after giving them ‘false promises’ of marriage, now you want to settle down and you are scouting for a virgin; remember that “whatever a man sows, he will surely reap”. (Galatians 6:7)

In conclusion: No child, whether male or female is inferior to the other. Both are God’s creation and when raised well can be great reformers, agent of change and great leader. More so, God wants us to love our spouse with or without the presence of offspring. He however has great promises for us, that none of his own will be barren.