“I will never love again”, Ladi stated emphatically as he bore his heart to his best friend Kola who was tired of telling him to move on and forget his supposed fiancee who ditched him a month to their wedding. That exactly was six years ago when Lauren called to tell Ladi that their dream of being together as husband and wife was over. It was a rude shock for him but he kept convincing himself that it was a joke and that his babe would eventually change her mind. Six years after, he still lived in the illusion that his once fiancee Lauren who he has refused any form of contact with him will one day change her mind and if not, then he won’t marry anyone else.
“She was my first love”, he kept telling anyone that cared to listen; “and she will remain my only love.” he usually concludes. “Can’t you see that she does not love you again?” Kola asked him. “She never stopped loving me,” he snapped. “It is so obvious that you do not want to face reality friend, if she loves you enough, she will never have walked out of your life one month to your wedding”, Kola told his friend. Ladi shook his head, no one seems to understand him, they don’t know how much he hurts for Lauren. She is everything and more of what he ever dreamt for in a wife. She brought beauty to his life when she came in and it seems she has taken away the same beauty the day she walked out. When she announced the ‘call-off’ of their relationship, he had run to her house to beg her, he remembered crying his heart out that she meant the world to him, but Lauren seems to have made up her mind. She said it was just over and marriage between them would not work. It was some months later that he heard she got married to someone else. Ladi couldn’t bring himself to love someone else because he believed that a tangible part of him had gone with Lauren. Gosh, he gave that relationship his best. And to think of it, he had already bought her wedding dress. Lauren had the wedding dress parceled back to him. He still has the dress in his closet and he usually check out the dress with tears in his eyes, hoping and praying that Lauren would one day come back to her senses and elegantly walk down the aisle with him.
Much as the above is a fiction, there are lot of people whose hearts have been broken like Ladi and have refused to go on in life, hoping for a sweet yesterday that will never come. It is okay to get injured but it is bad to remain wounded for life. Someone may toy with your feelings once but never allow him/her cage your heart forever; let the pains of yesterday go. It hurts to go through disappointment but it hurts more to refuse to get over the disappointment.
In same vein, there are lots of men/women whose spouse walked out of their marriage and this has left them devastated. It is so painful to feel betrayed by one’s spouse after putting so much in a marriage but it is more awful to remain sad for the rest of your life. Learn to forgive your spouse and yourself. Some people blame themselves for things that go wrong. It is okay to take the blame for whatever wrong that happened but it is not okay to blame yourself forever. Forgive yourself and let the wounds heal. Can you for once remember the good you did? Can you please try to celebrate yourself today, make yourself happy and let’s see how that will affect how you feel? Can you try to take yourself out, treat ‘you’ to a nice time and for once forget the misery you went through in that relationship? Sweetheart, there is always ‘the light’ waiting for you at the end of the tunnel. Don’t give up on life simply because s/he walked out of that relationship or because you failed that job interview or lose the contract. No one has the power to make you sad without your consent. It is okay to cry over a sweet relationship turned sour but you have an obligation to get over the bitter past and live for a beautiful tomorrow. Loaded in your tomorrow is a package of beautiful life, don’t trade it with your untreated wounded heart, so let yesterday go, forget the past and determine to live again. You have a right not to love again because you lost a beloved spouse or had your heart broken but you will do yourself no good by refusing to let the wound heal. So, get the healing balm, take yourself out, keep good company, listen to good music, read great books /articles; watch inspiring films and be positive about life. You will succeed!